Halloween Horror: Silver Age DC Strikes Again

In honor of last night's holiday, Halloween, I thought I would dig out some spooky comics and share a tale of nightmarish terror as only Silver Age DC Comics could deliver them, a disturbing blend of horror and wacky insanity marketed to children.

I'll let Ferro Lad and Invisible Kid take it from here:









Of course it is. This is, after all, a story of terror and insanity.







Our story opens with Lana Lang's dream come true:



Lois is dead. And sure, Lana looks sort of sad about it as she stands by Lois' flaming funeral bier on Rajah Satdev's lush estate, but I bet there was a scene they didn't show where Lana knelt by the corpse like Heather Duke in "Heathers" at Heather Chandler's funeral, thinking, "I prayed for the death of Lois Lane many times, and I felt bad every time I did it, but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know that you understood. Amen and hallelujah!"

But wait, it gets better:



Not only is Lois dead, but Superman killed her. Did I mention that this story takes place on Lana's birthday? I'm not kidding. It says so on page 7.

Superman barely acknowledges Lana, because he's deranged with grief and guilty remorse. So much grief and guilty remorse, in fact, that he starts talking to Lois' corpse, and then...





Then comes the necrophilia. Happy Halloween, everybody!

No, actually, we're spared the necrophilia. Instead, Superman flies off in another fit of grief, leaving Lana alone to wonder how long the mourning period should be before she calls Superman for a date. While she's thinking, Rajah Satdev, the owner of the estate, appears:



He waves a hand and says some magic words, and Lana's day gets even worse:



Lois is married to Superman, and she's alive again, but she's hideously disfigured. I guess Lana sees that as enough of a silver lining to ask what's going on, and Lois explains that this all started when the Daily Planet sent her to cover the Metropolis Exotic Animal Show:



Intrigued, Lois hops in the Rajah's limo for an interview, but something may or may not be amiss:





The collapsing skyscraper turns out to be a huge scoop for Lois, but even though she's the kind of woman who accidentally breaks cursed mirrors and is regularly abducted by aliens on a daily basis Lois never stops to think, "Hey, did I actually just sell my soul to Satan?"

There is something odd about that Rajah, though:





He also spends a lot of time drinking a secret elixir that Lois is gravely forbidden to taste, which is pretty much the same as handing Lois the bottle and screaming, "Chug!"

As soon as he falls asleep:



But it's not from the Fountain of Youth, and instead burns Lois' mouth. Wondering how the Rajah could possibly drink it, Lois grabs his turban:





Lois and the Rajah immediately start fighting about her betraying his trust and him not being up-front with her about maybe being Satan, attracting the attention of Superman, who happens to be carrying Lana, because it's her birthday. When Superman tries to intervene, though, disaster strikes:



Which brings us back to where we left off before Lois' multi-page flashback:



The Rajah's tigers attack Lana, who tries to fight them off with one of the torches around the bier. Lana's wild flailing with the torch accidentally lights the bier on fire, and Lois and the Rajah stand unharmed in the flames as nearby villagers cower in fear. (They might also be cowering because the tigers that attacked Lana, never mentioned again in the story, flee the flames by running straight toward the village.) In the middle of all of this furor, it suddenly dawns on Lois that hey, she's a demon now.



The Rajah spirits the unconscious Lois home, where it turns out that he's not the devil after all:



His people are aliens who just happen to look like Satan, like the aliens in Childhood's End.

Resigning herself to life on Satdev's world, Lois makes plans to marry him:



but harbors a secret in her heart:



When the big day finally comes, trouble rears its head yet again:



Lois never took off the ring that Superman gave her when she was dead and he was deranged with grief.





Lois realizes that she can't marry a man she doesn't love as much as she loves the man who accidentally killed her and continuously strings her along because he has a second girl on the side, and begs Satdev to send her home:







Happy Halloween, everybody.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

When I was little, my mom used to subscribe to Reader's Digest. I don't remember most of what was in there, but there were little vocabulary quizzes on building your vocabulary, true stories that were mostly titled, "I Survived..." a flood, or a horrific injury, or a grizzly bear attack, or a kidnapping, or a plane crash or something. There were also sections where people could send in little jokes or anecdotes, and this one has always stuck in my head, waiting to be used:

A wounded, dying pioneer lies in the shade of a saddened wagon train, gasping out his last words.

"Frank?"

"Yeah, Al?"

"You'll keep your promise, right?"

"Yeah, Al."

"And when you get out west, you'll build a city and name it after me?"

"Yeah, Al."

"Billy?"

"Yes, sir?"

"You'll make sure he does it?"

"Yes, Mr. Buquerque."

I meant to tell that joke this week, when I was in Albuquerque for a conference, but didn't get around to it. I did get around to seeing a lot of Albuquerque, though, and I have to say that the town is a little weird. There's a lot of older, historical stuff, which is great, but all of the modern era stuff looks like they built it around 1980 and then left it out in the desert to mummify:



Other than the cars, is there anything in that picture that would keep you from guessing that it was taken anywhere between 1960 and now? The whole city is like that. They somehow manage to make a TGI Friday's or a Best Buy look 40 years old, and I have no idea how that's even possible.

When I got there on Monday there was a campus tour of the University of New Mexico, but I didn't sign up in advance so I didn't think I could go, and I went to walk around town instead.













I saw a lot of the somehow dated but modern architecture (seriously, even brand new buildings going up looked old), and found out that Albuquerque is a city that loves their art.







Not just statues, either. I saw murals and painted artwork everywhere:



















Even the community garden I walked past was decorated:



The city seems to have a lively art scene in general, since I saw several theaters, venues, and posters:







I know what you're thinking. "How can I possibly enjoy a show without my chains and knives?", but I guess somehow people manage.

Tuesday and Wednesday we did conference stuff all day, but Thursday we went down to Old Town (Olde Towne?) Albuquerque, where every historical building that isn't a church:









is now a gift shop, restaurant, or antique store:

















It's a nice area to walk around in, and there was a band:





by the gazebo:



which is also a grave:



On Friday the conference wrapped up, and I had to switch to another hotel a block away for the night, because I registered a little late and they couldn't give me the extra night at the Hyatt. It worked out really well, though, because I moved from the bland, boxy Hyatt to the Hotel Andaluz:





where I should have stayed all along. Is that not gorgeous? It was built in the 1930's by Conrad Hilton, and was full of woodwork and antiques but also with modern touches and a really nice restaurant.

Before I could eat at the restaurant, though, my coworker Kay and I decided to squeeze in one last adventure for the week. We drove out to Sandia Peak:



to ride the tram:



to the top:



See how I'm all covered with sweat and trying to smile but actually look like someone is standing just outside the frame stabbing me in the kidney? That would be thanks to the crippling fear of heights that I've mentioned before. The scenery on the way up:













and the way down:









was totally worth it, although there was a panic freakout moment on the way up (besides the continuous low grade freakout the whole way) when I noticed a dime sized hole in the floor:



that you could see the thousand foot drops through, and I tried to casually mention it to Kay. Based on the way that the people in the car looked at me, I think my casual mention sounded something like this:

"OH MY GOD THERE'S A HOLE IN THE FLOOR AND YOU CAN SEE THE GROUND AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE DIE DIE!"

but maybe it was totally a little more subtle.

The views at the top, where the visitor center is, were also spectacular:





(that's the Rio Grande in that picture), although I did notice something odd in the visitor center itself:



(They couldn't move that display when they cut the bathroom door into the wall?) and I think we were up high enough to see the actual seperate layers of the atmosphere:





We also learned that the maintenance guys prefer to strap themselves to the roof of the trams to ride up and down:



which is insane.

During the week I also ate a lot of Mexican/Tex Mex food, including these eggs:



which were the best meal of the trip, and then on Friday night the sun set on Albuquerque:



and I got up on Saturday and headed home.