Sunday, May 20, 2007

nightmare on mom street

I was watching the original “Nightmare on Elm Street” this afternoon, and a weird thought occurred to me: Nancy’s mom was a hot mess. She was drunk all the time, didn’t seem to work, never really seemed to go anywhere, yet still wandered the house with her hair done and fresh glossy lipstick at all times. What was going on there, exactly? Other than her being a horrible parent, I mean. You just know the other kids on the street all thought she was a MILF.

Most of the trouble is that the actress playing her somehow confused “drunk in every scene” with “continuously in the throes of really good sex”, so that even when she’s trying to be serious she’s still half-moaning her lines in a high pitched whimper with a sweaty face and half-lidded eyes.

“Nancy, your… unh…. father and I… *gasp*… burned up this… mmm…. child murderer… nnnuh…”

Who knew vigilante justice and hardcore alcoholism could be such a turn on?

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