I'll let Ferro Lad and Invisible Kid take it from here:
Of course it is. This is, after all, a story of terror and insanity.
Our story opens with Lana Lang's dream come true:
Lois is dead. And sure, Lana looks sort of sad about it as she stands by Lois' flaming funeral bier on Rajah Satdev's lush estate, but I bet there was a scene they didn't show where Lana knelt by the corpse like Heather Duke in "Heathers" at Heather Chandler's funeral, thinking, "I prayed for the death of Lois Lane many times, and I felt bad every time I did it, but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know that you understood. Amen and hallelujah!"
But wait, it gets better:
Not only is Lois dead, but Superman killed her. Did I mention that this story takes place on Lana's birthday? I'm not kidding. It says so on page 7.
Superman barely acknowledges Lana, because he's deranged with grief and guilty remorse. So much grief and guilty remorse, in fact, that he starts talking to Lois' corpse, and then...
Then comes the necrophilia. Happy Halloween, everybody!
No, actually, we're spared the necrophilia. Instead, Superman flies off in another fit of grief, leaving Lana alone to wonder how long the mourning period should be before she calls Superman for a date. While she's thinking, Rajah Satdev, the owner of the estate, appears:
He waves a hand and says some magic words, and Lana's day gets even worse:
Lois is married to Superman, and she's alive again, but she's hideously disfigured. I guess Lana sees that as enough of a silver lining to ask what's going on, and Lois explains that this all started when the Daily Planet sent her to cover the Metropolis Exotic Animal Show:
Intrigued, Lois hops in the Rajah's limo for an interview, but something may or may not be amiss:
The collapsing skyscraper turns out to be a huge scoop for Lois, but even though she's the kind of woman who accidentally breaks cursed mirrors and is regularly abducted by aliens on a daily basis Lois never stops to think, "Hey, did I actually just sell my soul to Satan?"
There is something odd about that Rajah, though:
He also spends a lot of time drinking a secret elixir that Lois is gravely forbidden to taste, which is pretty much the same as handing Lois the bottle and screaming, "Chug!"
As soon as he falls asleep:
But it's not from the Fountain of Youth, and instead burns Lois' mouth. Wondering how the Rajah could possibly drink it, Lois grabs his turban:
Lois and the Rajah immediately start fighting about her betraying his trust and him not being up-front with her about maybe being Satan, attracting the attention of Superman, who happens to be carrying Lana, because it's her birthday. When Superman tries to intervene, though, disaster strikes:
Which brings us back to where we left off before Lois' multi-page flashback:
The Rajah's tigers attack Lana, who tries to fight them off with one of the torches around the bier. Lana's wild flailing with the torch accidentally lights the bier on fire, and Lois and the Rajah stand unharmed in the flames as nearby villagers cower in fear. (They might also be cowering because the tigers that attacked Lana, never mentioned again in the story, flee the flames by running straight toward the village.) In the middle of all of this furor, it suddenly dawns on Lois that hey, she's a demon now.
The Rajah spirits the unconscious Lois home, where it turns out that he's not the devil after all:
His people are aliens who just happen to look like Satan, like the aliens in Childhood's End.
Resigning herself to life on Satdev's world, Lois makes plans to marry him:
but harbors a secret in her heart:
When the big day finally comes, trouble rears its head yet again:
Lois never took off the ring that Superman gave her when she was dead and he was deranged with grief.
Lois realizes that she can't marry a man she doesn't love as much as she loves the man who accidentally killed her and continuously strings her along because he has a second girl on the side, and begs Satdev to send her home:
Happy Halloween, everybody.
2 comments:
This is the scariest thing I have ever read.
The fact that Superman misuses the word "whom" on the cover was a foreshadowing of the horrors to follow.
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