It's also a story of insanity.
Let's jump right in, shall we?
Ferro Lad, like me, is only happy about solid bunnies. We both understand that hollow bunnies are lies. They promise that they are thick, delicious chocolate, but then you bite and they explode into shards. Shards of lies. Chocolate lies.
Like nobody saw that coming.
Our story opens with Lois, as is often the case, babbling something about herself at Clark while he wishes that there was a horrible emergency somewhere that needed responding to.
Lois is excited to be on this television show about Superman and his secret life, until she discovers that she's not the only one who might know about Superman's secrets:
Lana's eyebrows are not those of a friend who's happy to see you. Sensing animosity, the host immediately begins poking the hornet's nest of jealousy with a stick. He's a brave, brave man.
Lana, slightly less insane than Lois, attempts to take the high road:
but the host immediately begins dredging up the past:
Before Lois can do more than hmmph, though, he goes right back to poking:
which ends up going about how these things usually go. Lois and Lana get mad, but still decide to go get some lunch together, because they are the original Best Frenemies.
Lunch quickly turns sour:
and then the hair-pulling starts:
And, of course, the one threating murder is Lois. As I said, Lana is the slightly more sane of the two, although in this pair that's like being the slightly less burning log in the fireplace. Still, faster than you can say, "Violent, irrational mood swing," Lois is calling to apologize:
She wants to take Lana on a drive.
Alone.
In the rain.
On a bridge.
You see where this is going, right?
And off the bridge they go.
Lois, as good a friend as she is a driver, hauls herself out of the river without bothering to check on Lana, and hitchhikes back to her hotel, just in time for Superman to show up:
The police are trying to recover her car, and asked Superman to check on her. They're having a little trouble, though:
And then we all see what Lois has done:
Lana's dead. And she still has great hair.
What follows is a scene so horribly written that I couldn't take pictures of it. I was too busy face-palming.
Lois ends up in the county lockup, where she is visited by Bruce Wayne. Bruce informs her that he's got the perfect lawyer for her, if she'll just wait right here in this room while he goes to another room to get the lawyer. Bruce leaves and then Batman comes in, because Bruce Wayne is Batman and Batman is Lois' lawyer and HOW THE HELL DID NO ONE EVER FIGURE OUT BATMAN AND SUPERMAN'S IDENTITIES WHEN THIS IS THE BEST THEY DID TO COVER THEM?
Superman joins them with some terrible news:
So, Lois is going with the Ted Kennedy defense, then. Who knew that the writing pool at DC Comics was following the "Law and Order" "ripped from the headlines!" school of plot construction? I'm not just being facetious in bringing that up, either. This comic is from February 1970. Chappaquiddick was barely months old at that point, and probably still in the newspapers.
Getting back to the story, Superman informs Lois and Batman that he'll be serving as the prosecutor, since Batman's skills as defense attorney require super skills on the other side of the aisle as well. Also, you know, Lois killed his other girlfriend, so he's a little upset.
Lois, being Lois, immediately starts ignoring the advice of her lawyer and making things worse for herself:
and the Langs are, not surprisingly, not at all happy to see her:
And that's where we leave things, for now. Lana's dead, Lois is going to stand trial:
and I'm going to go eat some of Ferro Lad's chocolate bunny.
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