Today, according to the many tubes of the internets, was National Bring Your Action Figure to Work Day. I know because when I read about the day last year I put a note on my calendar for a week before the proposed 2016 date, so that I could check and see if this was a real thing that would happen again this year. It turned out that it is a real thing, as much as any holiday invented on the internet can be, which left me with the question of which action figure to bring, as I assumed the ones that hang out in my office all the time didn't count.
For a while I figured I would just bring my default, Superboy, but then I remembered that he gets to go a lot of places already. I considered my Namor figure, which I always think of as Sad Namor (I'm not sure why), or maybe Supergirl, but then I thought, "What about Northstar?" Yes, what about Northstar? He's cute, he's gay, and he likes to sneer derisively at things. Perfect!
So Northstar came to work with me, and immediately began sneering.
Why is your water bottle empty? Don't you want to stay hydrated? You should, at your age.
Did they issue you this tape dispenser, or did you go back to 1970 yourself to get it?
Why do you have so many kinds of Post It notes? How forgetful can one person possibly be to need this many reminders?
I started to feel like Supergirl would have been a little nicer.
Your tie is hideous. Take it off.
OK, I guess...
Why are you still staring at Excel? Are you being punished? Who did this to you?
I'm doing some reports. This is what work looks like sometimes.
Enough of this. Let's put all the calls on hold and go to lunch.
And so we went to lunch, a nice long walk to and from the office. By the end of the day, we'd even come to a sort of quiet understanding.
It's after 5. Why are we still here? Haven't you had enough?
I thought about it, and yes, I had.
So Northstar and I went home.