(Belated) Bring Your Action Figure to Work Day

Friday, according to the internets, was Bring Your Action Figure to Work Day. I missed it in 2017, so I wanted to be sure to remember it in 2018, and stuck it on my calendar. Coincidentally, I also had a vacation day stuck on my calendar for Friday, so I missed the entire day, and decided to make up for it yesterday. As I did in 2016, I brought Northstar, and he seemed to find the whole thing as distasteful as he did last time he was here.



This is what you do? You talk on a phone all day?

Well, not all day. I mean, I talk on the phone a lot, but...

This is an actual job, that people are paid for? Why didn't you become a gay world champion downhill skier, like me? Or Gus Kenworthy? That's much more exciting.

I don't know. I'm not good at skiing.

Also, your office is messy.



You don't have a cup for these pens? You just fling them anywhere?

Well, I mean...



Why do you still have eclipse glasses on your desk? Are you saving them for the next eclipse? Are you, Joel?

Maybe?

It's half a decade away, Joel. You're going to go half a decade without cleaning your desk off?

Cleaning my desk off doesn't mean throwing everything on it away.

Is that a Hydra pin?

What?



Are you in Hydra, Joel? If I lean in, are you going to whisper, "Hail Hydra" to me?

No! Somebody gave that to me.

Sure. OK. That's why you still have it.



Why do those toys live in your office? They're not good enough for your apartment?

No. I like those toys. I just think they look good on the bookshelf.

Is that the lie your Hydra masters told you to tell?

No?

And this...



Why do you have a whole drawer full of stress balls, Joel?

Mostly for conversations like this.



And why are we even still here, having this conversation? It's after five.

I don't know, Northstar.

I don't know.

Bring Your Action Figure To Work Day

Today, according to the many tubes of the internets, was National Bring Your Action Figure to Work Day. I know because when I read about the day last year I put a note on my calendar for a week before the proposed 2016 date, so that I could check and see if this was a real thing that would happen again this year. It turned out that it is a real thing, as much as any holiday invented on the internet can be, which left me with the question of which action figure to bring, as I assumed the ones that hang out in my office all the time didn't count.

For a while I figured I would just bring my default, Superboy, but then I remembered that he gets to go a lot of places already. I considered my Namor figure, which I always think of as Sad Namor (I'm not sure why), or maybe Supergirl, but then I thought, "What about Northstar?" Yes, what about Northstar? He's cute, he's gay, and he likes to sneer derisively at things. Perfect!

So Northstar came to work with me, and immediately began sneering.



Why is your water bottle empty? Don't you want to stay hydrated? You should, at your age.



Did they issue you this tape dispenser, or did you go back to 1970 yourself to get it?



Why do you have so many kinds of Post It notes? How forgetful can one person possibly be to need this many reminders?

I started to feel like Supergirl would have been a little nicer.



Your tie is hideous. Take it off.

OK, I guess...



Why are you still staring at Excel? Are you being punished? Who did this to you?

I'm doing some reports. This is what work looks like sometimes.



Enough of this. Let's put all the calls on hold and go to lunch.



And so we went to lunch, a nice long walk to and from the office. By the end of the day, we'd even come to a sort of quiet understanding.



It's after 5. Why are we still here? Haven't you had enough?

I thought about it, and yes, I had.

So Northstar and I went home.