Oklahoma, OK!

I won! I won the state quarter game!

As you may or may not recall, this was the unhappy scene in my kitchen back in May:



I thought the last one I needed was New Mexico, but then I discovered that Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain and the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet was actually Oklahoma, state of unfilled quarter slots and broken dreams. "Oklahoma," I cried, hunched over my counter in grief, "Why do you hate me? Why can't you be more like whichever state that is with Helen Keller on it that I get all the time?"

Oklahoma, like Helen Keller before the day at the well, had no answer.

At long last, though, after getting a bagel for lunch today, the void in my life is filled:



I've never been so happy to see a bird and a bunch of flowers in my life. I love you, Oklahoma. I love you.

Oklahoma, Tauntiest State in the Union

I have this book my mom gave me back in 1999. If it wasn't mad of cardstock, it would probably just be a pamphlet, but instead it has firm covers with plastic holders on the inside for you to press state quarters into.

I didn't ask for this book. I thought it was kind of lame, actually, but my mom gave it to me and she'd already put a couple quarters in the slots and really, how hard could it be to pick quarters out of your change?

It turns out to be pretty hard. I've been carrying this book around since 1999. I have lived in three different cities and had three different jobs in that time. I've also had three cars, earned a degree, moved off campus, and the whole time I've been presing quarters into this book. I carefully analyze every handful of change, and this morning I was wildly excited to discover New Mexico.

Finally, I can stop pushing quarters in my little book. I ignored the friends who told me that there were quarters for Guam, or Washington, D.C., or Puerto Rico. My book says "50 States Quarters", and I now have all fifty states. Screw you, territories, protectorates, and districts.

When I got home, before I even took off my work shoes, I went straight to my bookshelf and got down the quarters book, and took out my New Mexico quarter, and made a shocking discovery:



I never had anything bad to say about Oklahoma, ever, before now. They have that musical, the people were friendly when I visited, it's the only state I've ever purchased a pornographic magazine in; until today I had nothing bad to say about them.

Now I wish the whole state would secede. Then I wouldn't need to fill that last slot.