Friday, April 5, 2013

What were you like as a kid?

On the fifth day of my 30 Days of Blogging, we will briefly consider a question from my friend Dee:

What were you like as a kid?

Two things stand out when I think about this:

1) I didn't like to read.

This seems surprising in light of how much I read now, but when I was little I pretty much only wanted to read comic books. I remember a time in the third grade when my mother gave me a homework assignment, to go to the school library, check out a book, and bring it home to read it. I carefully perused the library shelves, made a selection, and presented it to my mother when I got home, grinning widely.

It was a picture book, with no words.

To say that mom was displeased is an understatement, especially since I fully admitted to selecting a picture book out of spite.

Some things haven't really changed much, have they?

2) I didn't like the other children.

For the most part, I found the other children hard to understand, and didn't really like playing with them. I remember being social at school, because it was expected, but very solitary at home. The other children, at times, didn't like me either. Often they were cruel, but I also had a pretty sharp tongue even as a child, so I was cruel right back, which usually made them more hostile. Once, when I was in the third grade, the other children waited until I climbed up on the monkey bars at recess, then pulled my shoes off, and then pulled me down and beat me with the shoes. I'm pretty sure that my mom had to come to school and get me.

It is for this reason that I am never surprised when news anchors gasp at the latest horrors perpetrated by children.

Kids are monsters.

I learned that when I was one.


Dee said...

What did you like to do? Just comic books? I remember making up solitaire versions of the board games in my house (Sorry, Monopoly, etc.) but can't remember the rules I had.

Kids are little shits. Even my two, who I love beyond anything reasonable, can be tyrannical asses.

Marcheline said...

With very few exceptions, kids suck. The only ones I've met that I liked were more like old people in tiny bodies.